the art of finding oneself

i know where i am and
i keep waiting for myself to knock on my own door
toc toc toc!
even my onomatopoeia is in french
that must mean
i'm making progress

no one comes and
i'm standing myself up
on purpose because
i'm waiting for something
that i used to know

i am
i know how to be
i won't
act like i still need to figure that out

how can i look for myself in a place i've never been?
i don't really want to find myself
somewhere else
because i already know where i am
and i like it a lot